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So there I was standing beside a person who I haven’t been able to forgive in three months. Honestly, it felt weird. By normal standards I should’ve felt anger towards her. All I felt was a wave of peace come over me. I can’t look back to the very second I forgave her, but I’m so glad that I did. It’s over.

How is this posible?

I’ve been on my knees praying for forgiveness for who knows how long. I’ve felt fake-forgiveness a dozen times but every single time I slipped and fell back into anger. how can I know that this isn’t just another fake ending to this never-ending circle of hate?

Unlike my other forgivenesses, I can feel this one. It feels solid, concrete and like nothing can knock it down. It’s like a wall has crumbled from around my heart and I can finally let the darkness out. The only explaination is Christ’s hand tearing down that wall that I have guarded myself with for the longest time. Lately I’ve been so tired of being fake happy.  Pretending to be happy is nowhere close to being real happy. Fake happy is loud, empty and dark. Real happiness is quiet, filling and so rewarding. I can now say that I am truly happy. It’s over. No more bitterness, no more trying to relive the past when it’s all meaningless, no more thinking of things I’ve done that can come back to haunt me. It’s over.

There’s a song that says:

And I am done with my graceless heart

So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart

Because I like to keep my issues drawn

It’s always darkest before the dawn

It’s over. Dawn has come. All I have to do is watch the sunrise.

About VicToTheE

I'm a pudding-in-a-paper-bag type person who enjoys the Northwest Territories, my rabbit and long walks on the rocky shores of Cape Breton Island. My passion in life is to give justice to people who have been treated unfairly.

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  1. Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Phillipians 4:6

    “Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other.
    Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
    And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
    And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.”

    When we give God our life, He will take control and do amazing things. He will never give us a struggle that is too big for us to handle.
    He loves us so much! When we give our lives to Him, nothing can stop us. Nothing can stand against us.
    The creator of the universe loves us so much! He wants us to give Him control of our whole life, and He will help us with any and every worry, doubt, and issue in our lives.
    He loves us so much. 🙂 Thanks Vic for posting this! 😀

  2. I love this. Thanks for speaking to my heart this morning. I’ve had a frustrating day, and it’s this sort of perspective that I really needed. I’ve already read this three times….thanks for softening my heart!

  3. Hey, this was really, REALLY good, thanks for sharing.

  4. This article is absolutely amazing and i do believe that we all have troubles forgiving people but when we have God on our side he can give us the will power to forgive. And this concept of forgiveness will Never come easy and if anything it will become harder but God can forgive easily because i mean look at the story of Jesus. God forgave the WHOLE WORLD’S sins and put them on his son. Now that is true forgivness.

  5. Great article :).. This is a great topic that everyone can relate to at one time or another..

  6. Wow! that really spoke to me! Your really good a writing! This story was wonderful!

  7. This article is fantastic!

  8. This is amazing! thank you victoria! You’re an amazing writer… keep writing!

  9. Sicktoria you’re amazing 🙂

  10. fantastic job victoria

  11. I read this again, and I need to forgive someone… this really motivated me.

  12. Victoria, you have a real gift for writing. Thank-you for writing this article!

  13. Thanks for writing this. It’s really impacting. Forgiveness is deep. Much deeper than pretending to forgive someone. Thanks for pointing that out to me! 🙂

  14. Victoria, you are an amazing writer and I’m glad you spoke what was on your heart because I can relate to this and it really touched me. So thank you 🙂

  15. Victoria, I love your article! Thanks for speaking into my heart about what real happiness is compared to the fake stuff! 🙂

  16. happenes is gerat, some people find greatness through go and other thing but your articale showed how being fake happy and real happy are far and short apart.

  17. Beautifully said. Thank you for inspiring me and lifting me up today!

  18. Thanks, Victoria! It made me really think of me I, and how I feel with my anger and my forgiveness. It really inspired me to dig deeper into God and his word. Thanks 🙂

  19. Wow, thank you for this. Usually I have an easy time forgiving people but sometimes there’s that one person I just can’t forgive, and then I feel badly towards them. I think this will help me to mend those relationships.

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