Going through a hard time is tough. But going through it alone, or at least feeling like you are going through it alone makes it seem nearly impossible. Lately I just haven’t been myself. Where is God in these moments? These moments where I am constantly searching for truth, and desperately needing hope.
I think I have discovered a lot about myself these very few past weeks of school. Maybe a little too much. I have questioned my faith way too much recently. My thoughts have defiantly gotten in the way of life. Is this all part of Gods plan? To put all these struggles into my life all at once and just check out? I know that He is still with me wherever I go, I just don’t feel his presence; and that is where my questioning of faith is coming from.
In the midst of my discomfort, the Lord showed me this verse. This very powerful verse.
1 Samuel 12:22
For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own.
Today at school we got to experience a very moving day dedicated to building community, and worshipping our father. There was a moment where one of our speakers invited everyone who was hurting to stand up. I was frozen to my seat at that moment. I am hurting, and I would have loved to stand up; but I couldn’t. I was scared. Looking back on it, I think that I missed out on a cool opportunity. Next, the speaker told everyone who was sitting to go and stand by someone who was standing, and reach an arm out towards them. About halfway throughout the prayer that the speaker was leading, I felt an arm on my shoulder, and I turned to see a familiar face standing there. God knew that I needed that. And he gave me that comfort that I had lost.
The rest of the day wasn’t the greatest for me. I walked around alone, but I think God planned that for me. I think I needed that time to reflect on all that is going on, and really think about life. Sure I felt lonely, but I also in a way felt at peace. In the midst of my tears I felt God’s hand upon me. Don’t think that being alone is all that bad. Sometimes God is using that for something much greater. And you need to keep on believing that there is going to be better times in life. These lonesome battles are temporary, but the love of God is eternal.