I never understood God, when i started going to school I never really had a lot of friends and I had trouble connecting with people my age I only had friends younger than me; they only played with me because I was older and had power over them.
At school I was weird, I hung out with a girl who was weird , since we were ‘friends’ I acted like she acted. then she made another friend and I became the backup friend, whenever her other friend was gone or sick she would play with me, but when this friend was around I was invisible. I spent so many recesses alone sitting on the border of the playground cut from all civilization.
Such a funny word when you say it to others but you never really know the meaning until you get called it by someone.
Hurts like getting stabbed in the back.
I had this pain and hate for so many people that I forgot that God is with me, I always felt like the world didn’t care about me. That I was just some toy that it played with until it got bored and forgot about me.
I was always alone until grade 6, when I found the coolest girl ever we became friends and played together for that whole year. Then we were put in separate classes and we never talked. But I made a new friend, and we befriended a new girl. I was so much happier, I had two great friends and I had a great class and everything was great, until…
They began to ignore, make fun of me, run away from me like it was some kind of game or cruel joke. It happened that whole year. Nobody cared or noticed me crying in the halls. They drew the last straw when they coaxed me into going into a locker. They blocked the door so I couldn’t get out…and they were standing outside, laughing.
The next year one of them was in my class again. After she began to hang out with me and my other friends she took them away from me and I was cut out entirely all over again. Then an old friend began to notice me and we hung out.
We are still friends and the girl who was so mean to me has no friends. I’m trying to be nice to her even though I have no reason too since I have a lot of friends now.
But until this past few years I though that my life was pointless that I would be made fun of and laughed at my entire life. Until God showed me the light at the end of the dark tunnel and I managed to climb out into a new life with God by my side.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 (NIV)