Home / 02 - life / Living Through the Chaos

Living Through the Chaos

Sometimes we just need to stop. To take a breath and just look around us without our minds swirling to pieces.

It’s June, and there’s lots of stuff to do. I have lots to do. Too many things for any normal person to even consider. But hey, who said I’m normal? I like being busy and always having something to do. I strive to do my best and make sure I’m able to help others along the way. But am I putting to much on myself? Maybe, but maybe not. I’m not wasting time — everything I’m planning to do this month are things that are important to me. But the manner I do them is what counts.

To often I find myself running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. If you really know me well or even my calendar, I think you may agree with me. I’ve gotten to the point that whenever I sigh or sit down for more than five minutes, my mum just looks at me and gives me that look — “don’t say it, don’t do it!” I think I probably spend more time saying I’m tired than actually sleeping.

Now don’t get me wrong — I love what I’m doing. Regardless, I need time to recharge my batteries. I make compromises. Then I get back at it again. I like my life, actually I love my life and I love who I am. I generally don’t care what others think of me, but I do care that I’m a positive influence and that they know I’m there for them. I want to be a light in the darkness despite my schedule, despite my circumstances.

So the fun part about my life right now: it’s June, and despite all my busyness, life goes and I keep moving. I’m not always sure what I’m moving toward, but that’s faith: complete confidence and trust. I don’t know what my life looks like tomorrow, but that isn’t my problem. That’s in God’s hands anyways, I just need to live life today in a way that makes Him smile. At the end of the day, it’s not about what I did, but who I was. I could do everything on my crazy to do list and be a complete jerk at the same time — and that’s definitely not what I’m going for. Even if I only accomplish two things off my list, but invest in people — that’s way more important. I’m learning to take things one at a time. There are only so many hours in a day and I like to spend at least eight of them sleeping anyway. Get a few things done, be responsible and productive; spend time with the people who are important to me; and shine for God all the way through. Now that’s a good day in my mind.

Living life with my head down won’t get me anywhere. Sure, I’ll survive my calendar, but without looking up I miss all the beauty around me. I don’t want to live life that way. I don’t want to just get through lifeI wanna live life. Live life the the full. I still have my bad days, but I wanna smile and laugh. I wanna go out for coffee with my friends. I wanna love, no matter what my day’s looking like.

Although I plan and I look forward, and sometimes I even dread, and I mess up, each moment is only lasts so long — both the good and the bad. Days turn into weeks, weeks to month, months to years. How am I gonna feel when I look back?

About KatrinaW

Katrina is a young woman who doesn't know exactly what she's doing, or where she's going, but trusting that God will show the way and use her in ways she could never imagine.

Check Also

The Impact of Music

Now, by this title some people already are sighing and rolling their eyes. Don’t feel …

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *