Just not enough.
That is how I have been feeling lately. It seems as if everything I do, is just not enough. Everything I have been doing just seems pointless. I feel like no one can really see me. I know people can, I know they hear me, but I feel like they don’t actually hear me.
Once I had come back from serving at a camp in the North West Territories, everything kinda just faded. I had a different feeling. I felt very heavy, I felt like everything that happened there, just piled onto me. Everything I saw, everything that had happened to me, just hit me. And after that , I have felt off.
I have had days, and moments that have been amazing, that have brought me to life. I have seen joy, I have felt joy. But its all seemed to fall away within days, or hours. It seems as if the spark in me is gone. Everyone thinks I so happy and that I’m doing so well, but thats not the case. And I don’t understand why this is.
I have spent hours talking to God, through out my entire day, I’m looking for his wisdom, but He’s not responding. The weird thing is though, I feel His presence. I feel Him trying to push me through this, but I don’t understand why He’s not talking to me. I have felt as if He has talked to me before, that we have connected, but now, I’m not so sure. I have been doing things that are increasing my faith, helping me grow, well that’s what people are saying, but, I don’t feel it.
I don’t understand why this is happening within myself. It’s not Gods fault at all. It’s my fault, but I don’t understand what I’m doing. Am I just not understand Him? Or am I actually doing something wrong?
I see so much bad in the world, and I just want to help. I want to do all I can, but I can’t and I know that, but it hurts. It hurts to know that people are hurting while I sit here feeling bad for no specific reason.
I know I’m kinda just going on and on, but there is a point in this article. Keep faith in the Lord. Maybe you don’t feel him right now, But He is here, He is with you. He’s waiting for the perfect moment to help you. You are loved by Him, and so many other’s. God is gonna save you. Don’t give into the bad, into the pain, stand up and fight. Don’t let it push you down, Be strong. Go to the Lord for strength. He will give you strength, I promise. And you are enough, even if you don’t feel like you aren’t right now, you are. You truly are. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of how far you have come. I am praying for everyone, everyone that needs strength, God will help you.
So, keep your faith in the Lord and in yourself. You are loved, and being prayed for. Don’t give up.
Because He is enough.