What do you do when life just seems to pile up, responsibilities seem to never end, and God seems distant, present but very, very distant.
To be honest, I don’t know. I am struggling with this thought lately. How do I reach God when I myself feel so far away from Him, and I know it is my fault. I cannot find time in my days of working and sleeping. No spare time, no time for myself, to do laundry, to run errands and in this busyness I cannot find time to devote to God either.
What to do then?
As I lay here in my bed, feeling the weight of this day pressing me down, weighing my heart into a heavy heap of weary, tired existence I can hear the frogs outside. I can hear the silence of the world. And I know there is God in that. I need to choose to not sink into this feeling of dullness. This feeling of distance. I need to choose. Choose to remind myself that our God is not distant, He is near. Our God does not draw away when I neglect Him. But even the fact that I, and maybe even you, are here realizing that there is something out of line in our life, is a sign that He is near. He is reminding us of the fullness that He brings when we jump and draw deep into Him.
I miss Him. I miss that fullness and beauty. And that to me proves that He is real. That He is near. Because when I am weary and neglect to desire and seek His face, I notice something missing. I notice something different, a hole. I miss the joy that He brings.
So tonight, I choose to remember. I choose to seep in His presence. I choose to believe, even though I don’t feel like it. I choose to search for His peace, and if my heart still feels anxious I choose to believe the truth that He is still God.
There’s this song that boldly states, “I’m in awe of who you are”. And am I? Do I get overwhelmed by who God is? That is my desire. My desire is to choose. To choose to believe even when I don’t feel. To choose to know even when I cannot think clearly. To choose Him over anxiety, over stress, over emptiness. He is God, and He calls me His.
He is near. Let that seep into your empty heart, sit in that. Let Him fill you.