My life has been a chaos of activites,
Always jumping from one to next,
Never stopping, and losing the beauty of what I’m doing
Over the last year, I have felt myself drift farther and farther away from the one thing that brings me peace. I got caught up in wordly pleasures, trying to create an illusion of comfort, trying to fill the void that I was digging deeper everyday. I was constantly thinking to myself, “next week I’ll be acustommed to this.” Yet it never happened, obviously. My feeling of busyness never seemed to stop, and I would often lay awake at night, stressing for what was coming the next day.
I had lost what had kept me going, and what was giving me the will to be who I knew I was supposed to be.
I lost motivation to hang out with friends,
I lost my will to do work
I didn’t care about my studies
I started to hide my struggles from the people I cared about more and more, making up excuses for the way I was acting, saying it was just an “off” day, or that I didn’t get enough sleep, which wasn’t entirely untrue, and allowed me to no feel the guilt of lying to my friends and family.
Throughout the year, I took part in activites called encounter, which were sessions you took part in that was meant to renew your faith and challenge who God is to you. These sessions did their job; almost. I did feel renewed, I could feel my relationship with Christ deepen, and my craving for him increase, for about a week. Before I knew it I began to feel lost again. Once again I would become caught up in what was going on around me, and it wasn’t until my I witnessed my brother get baptized before I fully realized what was missing in my life. Seeing him dedicate his life to God, allowed me to reflect on the emptyness within me; and why I was feeling it. My life finally began to turn back around, and I was happy again.
God is not some trivial knick knack that you carry with you and forget about. He is worth your time and needs to be treated as such. I can’t stress enough on how important it is to find time in your day to just talk to him; and let your worries fade away. I’m not saying that by doing this your life will be stress free, but you will notice the difference. God has plans for you, and if your to busy, and stressed, and worried, to listen to what he has to say, you might miss them. No matter what, remember God in all things that you do, and he will be there for you.
20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.