Who am I?
It’s a question I really struggle with.
Am I the typical sports jock? Am I a softy? The question keeps on popping up in my head each day.
Who am I?
I’ve asked people, who am I? All the time, I get different answers. Does that mean they’re right? Am I who they say I am? Does the crowd get to determine who I’m going to be? There are days I believe them. Sometimes they tell me that I’m good at athletics, a strong volleyball player. My coaches encourage me. My friends do it too. Sometimes I believe everything they say. But then, it never lasts. Even the good well-intentioned encouragement. Or the more dominant voice – that one that tells each of us that we are not quite good enough. That voice that says that we are never enough. Through my past, it poisoned my opinion and compromised myself from having my own opinion. It changed me, but not for the better.
If I believe in what everybody says I am and act out that way, I still feel like that’s who we are. But it is never permanent. It only lasts for that amount of time that we choose that way. You choose who you are. Maybe your grades aren’t the best, or even as good as your friends. That doesn’t mean you’re dumb. Just because you play tons of sport, doesn’t mean that you’re only good at sports. Only you can define yourself.
I find that to be one of my biggest questions though. What kind of person do I want to be? If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t know who I want to be. I know some people already know who they are, who they want to be but, at the same time, I know that some people struggle as much as me. And I look up to those who have it all figured out.
Do you know who does know who He is, who never changes? I’m looking in Gods direction for this one. Because as I grow, and as I change, I know that the One who created me never changes. He is love. He is hope. And He knows me truly.
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
This is the God I know. The One who draws near when I question, who sees me for me, and who loves me without condition.