an outgoing, overtly expressive person.
That’s the dictionary’s definition of an extrovert. But for me, it means something totally different. Well, I mean sometimes I am outgoing and social. Most of the time actually. But if you asked me what my definition was of an extrovert was, I would say this. Someone who needs people frequently. Someone who gets lonely extremely easily. Someone who often gets anxiety when alone. A person who just needs people in their lives at all times, even if it’s just to talk to. Don’t get me wrong, I like the odd time alone in my room listening to music and fantasizing or something. But when I get left alone, where there’s so many other people… I have time to think. And for me, that usually ends up terribly bad.
Some people might not understand, but I think everyone has the power to make or break someone’s day. You may not realize it, but something you do has that kind of effect, to someone. Only you can decide how you use this “power.” In the past, I’ve rated my day on how much someone talked to me, or how many compliments I got from this one person. And the whole time, they never knew. People often don’t understand how incredibly nice it is to have someone come up just to talk. Could be about sports, could be about homework or something. But I know from personal experience that this could change the course of someones day. If you’re not an extrovert, maybe you don’t understand, but if you’re like me… you will.
I like to be around people. My friends would all know. Every time I want to go somewhere, I will ask one of them to come with me, to the point where it’s kinda annoying. Whoops. But I guess that’s who I am; I like being accepted, I like belonging. And that is a good thing, to a certain extent, but it also comes with many, many cons. Because I like being accepted, I will do things to achieve it. And that is not something I’m proud of. I know I’m not the only one, but this is reality for me. I sometimes find myself speaking in a way that is accepted by others, not me, my family, and especially not God. This becomes a habit that is hard to break. Or, I’ll find myself dressing in a way that doesn’t portray a Godly girl. But why do I do it?
It feels good to be liked.
In the beginning, Eve was created for Adam. God knew we humans would be lonely without others. So tell me, why do people feel so alone, even in the most crowded places? This is something I’ve struggled with for a while. I can sit back against a cold concrete wall and just observe the different cliques around me. Man, I wish I had one of those you know? Just the feeling of being cared for. That someone cares enough to come over and just talk. Like those girls, those guys. But, don’t you know? That luxury of comfort and belonging is reserved for those with the perfect bodies and social status.
But you know what? I find my comfort in Christ alone. In the End, nothing will matter more. Our bodies will decay, our belongings left on earth, and our snap chat status long forgotten. It will not matter how many friends we had, how many people enjoyed our company. Rather, it’ll be looked upon the things we did to glorify Him and His kingdom, as cliche as it sounds. And I hope to make a difference that matters, by myself, or with others.