This weekend I attended YC Alberta. And I must say, God has never been so real. Coming into this weekend I was weary, and I was empty. I was questioning where my faith was at, yet I didn’t want to loose hope.
Tired of being in the situation I was in, I walked into YC with my hands open, ready to receive what the Good Lord had for me. I prayed that God would give me an opportunity to go out in faith, so I could experience the realness I believed he had. I told God I would do whatever he needed, but that I just needed to experience his love firsthand. The night went on, and not a whole lot seemed to happen. I had a lot of fun worshipping, and dancing around with friends, but God remained silent. The night ended, and I still hand’t heard from God; but without any other ideas, I continued to pray that God would still give me an opportunity to go out in faith. Saturday morning came, and I was super excited to hopefully hear from God. Later that evening as I was listening to a session, my mind seemed to zone out, and the image of a girls face came into my thoughts. I knew this girl, but I hand’t talked to her in a couple years. I felt a nudging from God that I needed to text her and tell her: “everything was going to be okay, and God wanted her to know how much he loved and cared for her”. That was my chance! I had felt God speak to me. I found her number in my phone and began to tell her what God wanted her to know. Before I pressed send I began to have some second thoughts. What if she thought I was crazy? What if she laughs at me? What if this… what if that? Again I felt the nudging from the Holy Spirit, so I pressed send. Later that night I received a message back saying how recently she had given up on faith and made the decision to become atheist. She explained to me how she just doesn’t think God is real, but that hearing what God had to say really made her think.
As I read her message I broke down into tears. God had finally spoke to me, and I was able to help someone through Him. I felt an overwhelming sense of joy, and even typing this out right now, I am getting chills, and feeling emotional. God is so beautiful, and almighty.
Later that night we had a very emotional worship. This slower song came on that made me think.
I have always really suffered with anxiety, and it has consumed my life many times before. I began to cry out to God, and get angry at him for not helping me with it. Why would a loving God allows me to feel that way, and why would he cause me to experience anxiety throughout my life? I was so angry and sad, that I just began to cry. Immediately I was interrupted by the worship leader saying these words: “I feel like some of you in the room suffer with anxiety, and that it has begun to overcome your life… If that is you please put your hands on your head and I am going to pray a prayer over you”.
As the worship leader began to pray, I couldn’t stop myself from crying again. God knew what I needed, and He answered to me. He saw my despair and worry, and He put peace over me. How cool is that? Then it hit me… God spoke to me again that night!!! I was overwhelmed with so much joy and disbelief that I started praying and crying, and singing, and hugging everyone. Happiness had overcome my weary soul, and the blood of Jesus Christ flooded into my broken life. That night I felt more joy than I have ever felt in my entire life. I felt the Holy Spirit inside of me, and the grace of God around me.
As I look back on my life, I notice that there has been many times God has tried talking to me, but I haven’t had open ears to listen to him. God has done so many powerful things in my life, but I haven’t taken the time to notice that and praise him because of it.
I challenge you to pray to God and ask Him what He wants you to do for him. Listen to God, and take that leap of faith every time you hear that calling from him… because I can promise you that you will not be disappointed!
If you’re feeling like there just isn’t anything left for you, and that your faith is failing and failing, take the time to open your hands, and accept what God has for you. His plan is worth so much more than all of your struggles and brokenness, and His word is more powerful than any worries and despairs that could ever even come upon you.
God bless you.