Change hurts. A lot.
Change means giving in to the fact that you do not have it all together. That you are not perfect. That things are not fine. That you are a work in progress.
I’d like to say I had this whole change thing figured out but I would be lying and apparently lying isn’t a good thing to do so I’ll try to be frank with you. The biology textbooks seem to like the term “adapt or die” when it comes to change. I think they’re trying to say that either you can bend and let something change you or you can fight it and let it break you. It’s going to hurt either way but I’d rather become stronger than bitter.
A change within yourself is not without sacrifice. It often takes a disaster or crisis of some kind to push us to change ourselves for the better. Sometimes it takes a hard look at your life. Sometimes it takes a wake up call. Sometimes it takes a screaming session with God on the car ride home to finally give in and say:
“God I don’t want to take one more step without you. I can’t do this alone anymore. This is harder than I thought it would be.”
A friend of mine once told me that for something new to begin something old has to end. I think he may have been quoting a Coldplay song but it’s stuck with me and kind of become my motto when I have to let something go. Change is the perpetual ending and beginning of the old and the new.
If change was easy then everyone would live the life they’ve always wanted. People wouldn’t stay in abusive relationships or keep up with the addictions and patterns they’ve become accustomed to. We would be living full, incredible lives. Unfortunately, most of us deem change too hard and settle for a life of distraction or self-medication to make us feel alright with ourselves. I don’t think that’s what God intended. I think he made us works in progress so we eventually find our way back to him because we do need help to change. A few years ago I was chatting with a homeless man named Tim. While we were talking he kept saying “The worst thing God could do would be make me perfect because then I wouldn’t need him anymore.”
Who do you want to be?
Are you willing to admit you need help to become that person?