In my very first article, I wrote about not feeling as though I have a purpose. I felt like I couldn’t make a difference and that God couldn’t possibly use me. Over spring break I went on a missions trip to Mexico with my church and the experience was truly life changing. When I was there I was asked to share my testimony in front of the church. Even though I didn’t feel confident in my story because it seems as though it is the same as everyone else’s, I accepted.
I had no idea what I was supposed to say. As I was sitting in the service I started to panic. What was I supposed to say to the people there that would make a difference? When I walked up the stage I had a few ideas, I was going to talk about the people and how the small towns had impacted my view of life. When I got up to the stage, I started to change what I was going to say. I felt as though what I wanted to say wasn’t right and my mind was brought back to my old 9 words article. I thought about how the people there had affected me and how our group had affected them, how I had felt like I was making a difference.
I began speaking about my article and how I had felt as though I didn’t have a purpose before and how I felt like I couldn’t make a difference in the world and then the words just started to flow into each other and eventually I wasn’t stressing on what I had to say, I was just saying the things that I knew were true. I almost started crying when I realized that all of my words were right and what God wanted me to say.
I talked about how when I had gotten the idea for the trip it hadn’t been a very big deal to me but there was a constant nudge in my mind to get the papers in so I could go. I realized that that was God’s way of telling me that I needed to be on that trip. When I got to the time of the trip I still didn’t know why I was going, I felt like I wouldn’t make a difference but I was ready to accept whatever the experience gave me.
When we were there we were in a prominently Spanish community and only a few people spoke English and even though I didn’t know the language and I didn’t always understand the instructions or what I was actually supposed to be doing, I was still doing something and that something that was making a difference. When I was standing in front of that church sharing, I recognized how God had provided in so many situations to make a difference. It was brought to my attention that where ever God wanted me to serve, He would provide.
“For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
– Philippians 2:13
That is true at home too. I could have been placed in the group of people that thought that they couldn’t do anything to help the people in their community because it is to close to home and the people are the same as me. I know now that that is not true. I know that if God wants you to serve in your community he will provide a way for that to happen, but if he decides that he wants you to be doing his work elsewhere, he will give a way.