I think we all have a goblin under the stairs, or an evil fairy lurking in the attic, or even a werewolf living in the basement. An ugly creature that’s hidden away in a cabinet or cupboard in the back of our minds.  While some Monsters are bigger and uglier, they haunt our thoughts all the same. It might be as simple as being called names at school, maybe your sibiling called you something that crushed you. Well let me tell you from experience, that I know a lot about gnarly beasts.  Some can be tied up, gagged, and locked away, never to be seen, or heard of, ever again. But there are a few that will dare to let the cupboard door creak open, and no matter how hard one might fight, the slimy bubbling creature will crush them. There’s rarely ever just one goblin,  sometimes its one or two monstrous creatures, but more often than not, its troops of crawling beasts that attack the ankles and shins, working their way towards the core of your everyday thoughts.

            I’ve had experience with goblins of all shapes and sizes.  Some of those goblins are locked up in prison cells, screaming and thrashing about but never to be set free, never to reach the outside world.  One goblin under my stairs will dare to come fully out of the cupboard constantly, he’s always lurking in the shadows but never daring to make a sound.  But his eyes scream out a thousand words from the darkness of the corners, It screams that people might talk about me and think about me, even when I’m not around.  It makes me wonder what they might say and think, if I messed up or did something wrong, even though they’re more likely to be saying something good, I still wonder.

         A slightly bigger more purplish green creature that seems like less of a goblin, but more of a fairy that was contaminated by an evil force.  This fairy screeches about how I’m not, and might never be, good enough. Do more work, make yourself look proper and sit up straight, become something you’re not… but, what am I really? It seems as though I’ve changed so much that I have about seven different personalities that are a part of me that come out depending on who I’m around.  

           The biggest is the werewolf, the fear of dying alone, and the fear of getting to close.  I never want to corrupt the people around me, and am fearful of letting them in. If something goes wrong, it’ll be like a gong, powerful and alarming.  So I keep at arm’s length all the people I know, my sister has been my anchor trough thick and thin, but as time goes by, she’ll be moving on, start a family somewhere and I’ll be left to fight my own battles.  I feel as though I’m merely a shadow that now must trek a new path, for a wall’s been put up that just doesn’t stop, a mass of furry creatures that are my conscience.  I know that some people might try to move me, to bend my decisions this way and that.

But these monsters are simply our thoughts, they don’t define us.  Each person has their trials and rocks in the road along the way to our final destination.  Don’t let these monsters define you. Take the time to find the true you.  There is always hope in the darkness, or a way to break into the light.  There’s going to be days where you might think there is no way to find hope in the darkness, but it is always there, waiting for us to come find it.  God has a plan for each and every one of us, as much as some plans my be harder and more challenging, he adjusts each task specifically for each individual.  Maybe your task is to share your story, you might not change the world, but you can change the world for people around you.  So take those beats, don’t lock them away or try to ignore them, face them in battle and God and his army of angels will stand alongside you every step of the way.  There are always days when you feel alone, But a spark is inside of you, you just have to give it oxygen so it can flare into a wildfire of hope and love that can spread around the globe, one heart at a time.  Matthew 6:34 says “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Don’t worry about tomorrow, don’t fear about today, Romans 15:13 states, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Have hope and seize the day, be joyful in all you do.  “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6, you have a purpose, in due time it will be that you fulfill it, and that will be the peak of your existence, when all the monsters will scatter, running from the blinding light of the fire that will start with the spark that’s in your soul.

About Jazmin

I am a female. Fe = Iron, Male = Man, therefore, I am Iron Man.

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  1. this is so true! I always feel like some monster is going to lash out and I will be met with pitchforks afterwards!

    • Yeah, It\'s like if you do one little mishap or mess up somehow something is going to come after you and continue to tell you how bad you are but we are enough.

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