I haven’t wrote on this website for a while so this isn’t as much of a teaching and more of a personal experience. It’s been over a year and I have been learning more and more about God through my struggles and my blessings. Although, there’s one question on my mind that repeats itself like the crashing waves that seem unending. First I want to share my initial path as to why I have arrived at a crucial block to my faith.
In January 2017 one of my best friends mom died due to a heart attach, which could have been avoided if the doctors had paid closer attention, and it broke me on so many levels. I’ve known her for as long as I’ve been alive and I could not imagine a more angelic figure than her. The passionate soul that resided in her body that affected everyone because it was significant and everyone knew that. With such a diligent work ethic and a heart for love, one day her heart stopped on any regular day. That day became dark for me and many others, for an angel had fallen. Blind obedience and acceptance was how I lived during that time. A reasoning of, God did what he had to, that it would tie to something else beyond my imagination. So for a year and a bit I just accepted what he did because he was lord and my knowledge compared to his is minuscule.
Fast forward to 2019 when I really considered why I could accept the things that were happening around me. Motivated because my friends were falling out of the same routine of just following God because our school said so, or my parents believe it so I must as well. To develop a foundation of faith stronger than someone said so, thus my journey had started with an obstacle to overcome. The first obstacle was right where I left off accepting whatever happened. I went back to my friend’s dad to talk about how he was coping with his wife’s death. The overused, repetitive and unanswered question was why does God let these bad things happen. Though, mine was a slightly different approach.
I had asked more specifically, why do bad people get second chances, but good people seem to get no mercy? The way his dad described it was, “God’s children work for his glory and when they die for unexpected reasons, God is calling them home.” Which I can understand that its a good thing because heaven is unimaginably beautiful, indescribable, and its a place without death and sin. That brought me up to the big question that I have and I continue to struggle with.
It’s an unanswered question; therefore, it may put heavy burden on your hearts. My question is, how do we willingly trust God knowing that he lets bad things happen to us, even if he doesn’t put it in motion, he is willing to let bad things happen to us for “the greater good”? this is my confession to you, my faith and my God in hopes for an answer.