So I’m listening to this song and one of the lyrics is, “you don’t give your heart in pieces”. Which for me speaks many measures. I have been heartbroken so many times and I think it is because I gave my whole heart and it just broke. But here’s the thing, I’m glad my heart broke, it forced me to keep going and pick myself up. When we give ourselves in pieces we are not giving all we could and maybe that is why things do not work out. I’m not sure if I‘ve been heartbroken in certain scenarios but I know it hurt. And in other scenarios I know I was heartbroken, it was one of the most painful things I have been though. I can feel the tears and my stomach drop just thinking about it but I would have hurt ten times more if I had given half of me and things still did not work out. I would always wonder “what if?”.
Heartbreaks have to happen. I think I forget this, especially in the moment when all I can do is cry. I heave these sobs and my chest is so tight that I can’t breathe and it is taking everything in me not to break but I do anyways. Then days or months or years later that pain pays off. This summer I had one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my sports career, and of my life. I cried the whole drive, hours just sitting with tears streaming down my checks, my eyes swollen and puffy. I was so numb. I looked at myself in the mirror and would cry. It hurt so so badly. It did not go away quickly and still stings a little. But a few weeks later I got an email that gave me the best news of my career. I found that sometimes things do not work out the way we planned them because God planned them differently. The email gave me a chance to do something I had spent years working for. I had given blood, sweat and tears to get there. I let myself break to get there. I picked up the pieces and worked.
See the thing is that when we have a broken hearts we forget that world goes on. It feels so intense that we do not know what to do with ourselves and we think that this is it, that we cannot go on. But the world keeps spinning, the sun rises again and we are given a chance to get up again. We have to let the pain subside and many that will take a few sunrises but one day, one sunrise, we stand up and work. We get so ready to grind again and we pick up all the brokenness and we give our whole heart again. You will never get where you want if you give half of your heart. You have to break and get hurt to get where you want. You have to keep giving your whole heart and keep getting it broken, because there is something that won’t bre\k it and will be totally worth the hurt, and that in itself is extraordinary. God has a plan and he will not give you more than you can handle, but he will test you. So when you hurt do not forget that Earth still spins and you will stand again. And never, ever, forget to give all of yourself, because that is what love is, that is pure, raw passion, and that does not come with half a heart.