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Trust is Not Easy

Trust is believing that someone will not betray you. They will keep your promise and hold true to their word. Trust is the foundation of every relationship you will ever have. Trust is not easy.

Maybe for you, it’s hard to trust your friends to do what they say or keep a secret you told them. Maybe for you, it’s hard to trust your parents to keep you safe or to tell you that they love you. For me, it’s hardest to trust God. You can’t have a direct conversation with him which makes things so much harder.

Last year was really hard for me. I lost friends I had been really close with, I got bullied in the sports I was in. I had to get rid of things that made me happy. I fell into depression. I got accused that I was faking it. That I just wanted attention or it was a temporary feeling on a temporary topic. My family became grumpy, stressed, and angry. That left me to find myself help. I had to rely on God in everything I did. I prayed that he would find me friends, restore my love for sports, and give back the things that I enjoyed. That he would make me happy again and fix the relationships with my family that only I knew had gone astray. 

I lived like this for a full year, in doubt that it would ever get better. There were too many moments where I felt unloved. Worst of all, everyone viewed me as dramatic. Like my feelings were never valid and I was always overexaggerating. I rarely felt listened to and was told harshly to pick myself up and do better. All I wanted to hear, all I needed to hear was that I was loved and that I would get through this with the support of others. I heard that a few times but when things weren’t getting better those same people would ignore me and leave me to support myself. 

I was not in a good headspace and needed to find a way out. The only thing left to do was go to God and ask for help. I am embarrassed to say that God was my last resort. I should have gone to him in the beginning but I didn’t. 

This is the kind of trust thing I’m talking about. I had very little trust that God would do anything for me. He didn’t seem to be there in the darkest of times so was he really there? Well, I can tell you from where I am now, that he totally was. I knew that this would all fix itself in time but I didn’t want to wait. I wanted things to get better now. But truthfully I can tell you that if things had fixed right then and there, then I would not be where I am today. Things would have to change again all too quickly and it would put me in the same pain that I was in then. For example, if I was longing for friends, then I would have connected myself with someone who made eye contact with me every once and awhile instead of someone who made me feel loved and accepted. Basically, I would’ve come to regret the spur of the moment decisions I would have made. Instead, I impatiently waited for God to make the right decisions for me. 

One of the amazing things that happened was this. I specifically remember crying to my mom about wanting a friend who lived really close to me and we could go over to each other’s houses whenever and hang out all the time. I longed to be connected so deeply with someone who would make me feel happy. Every day I would cry about not having anyone who made me feel good about myself. It wasn’t until the next year when we moved to another house in the same city and I soon realized that the friend I had been praying for lived right around the corner. I stand in awe today that God would actually answer my prayer! But I shouldn’t be surprised. We are talking about the creator of the universe. He took the time to craft every single person on this earth and made them in his perfect image. He gave the promise that everything would be perfect one day. And I didn’t trust him with my little issue.

He is more than capable to deal with my issues in his time. Again this is the kind of trust I am talking about. Being able to realize that my issues matter and God hears me. He will deal with them like he always does. I just need to let him. 

So I challenge you to let God take over. TRUST HIM. He is more than capable. There is no challenge too big for him. He created the universe.

No problem you have is bigger than that.   

About Lindsey

Hello! My name is Lindsey. I have a passion for music, acting, sports, and showing love towards people. I have three older sisters and multiple nephews. I love desserts and fettuccine alfredo. Many would say I’m friendly and kind. My goal in life is to make everyone I encounter feel loved and accepted. I want to use as much of my life to impact people in positive ways. I know God has a plan for me and cannot wait to see what He does with my life while I eat my biscuits and follow His word.

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